MARTHA STEWART DAY

Update: I finally got this project done. Doesn't look the same once gravity took over. I may still make some effort to separate the pieces so they can be seen a little better -- but then again I may not.


For several years I've been collecting old green-handled kitchen utensils because they're a kind of nostalgic reminder of my grandmother's house. They're not all that useful for people like me, i.e. lazy cooks, and besides that, they mostly aren't all that sharp. And a couple of them are mysteries to me of what people even did with them. So it finally occurred to me that I could make a sort of a garlic string out of them. We have a string of ceramic vegetables that's getting old and boring, and I thought it would be cute to make one out of the utensils.
I have a lovely plan for this, and I laid out all the pieces to see how they would look.



The idea is that I'm going to have to get some kind of a hole into each of these utensils, so I think that what I'm going to do is put an eyescrew in the top of each one. My plan is to drill a little hole in the top of each one and then add glue when I put the eye screw into the hole. Then I can string them all together. I get started fairly easily because we were using the drill yesterday to fix the lock on the front screen door, so the bit is still in the drill and the drill is on top of the messy workbench. And then, as I'm ready to start drilling -- I have one kitchen tool that isn't as good as the rest of them because all the paint has come off the handle -- I get a look at the damn thing and see that there's a problem. It's a pretty obvious one -- check the picture with the drill and the eye screw.



So I drag my pneumonic lungs up two flights of stairs and go into my fine craft closet, which I have, of course trashed in the two years I've had it. I can't see the box with the Dremel tool in it, but I do see a couple of boxes on the top shelf that could possibly have the Dremel, so I go and get the stepstool and get the boxes off the top shelf, only to find they were full of fabric, and no Dremel tool.


After all that climbing around, I decided it must be in the basement. I went back to the basement, started looking around and honest to god, it's 18 inches away from the vise I had started out with. DUH. I suppose if we ever put anything away...
I spend about a half hour trying to sort through the stuff in the box, but there aren't many things I even recognize, and especially not a little tiny drill bit. And I can't figure out either how to assemble the thing, or even if I have all the parts. The instruction manual is little, if any help.


So, after about two hours, here's the result. Nothing is finished, nothing is started, the utensils are all over the house, I've probably lost the drill bits I did have for the Dremel. I finally went out and planted tomatoes.